Bizarro versions of NFL quarterbacks Eli Manning and Tony Romo help DIRECTV kicks off its NFL Sunday Ticket promotion this in a pair of new ads riffing off the brand's previous Rob Lowe "Don't Be Like This Me" ads (which sparked some controversy earlier this year).

Directed by MJZ's Tom Kuntz, the latest spots introduce us to "Arts & Craftsy" Tony Romo, who has a flair for paper mache and innovates in the realm of baked goods, and "Bad Comedian" Eli Manning, a loose-limbed guy who sports a mean combover-mullet combo and wears a lot of polyester. While the original NFL stars have DirecTV and can watch every single Sunday game live, their dorkydoppelganger selves suffer the effects of having "mere" cable. When they can't catch a game, they channel their frustrations into other hobbies, like cracking dad jokes or making cupcake-brownie mashups called "crownies."