We all have that one ex—the one who won’t leave our minds no matter how hard we try. Maybe it was the unpredictability, the way they made us feel or how they knew when to resurface.

That’s exactly how brands should be making consumers feel. If brands want to capture attention and stay top-of-mind, they need to take the pages out of a former flame’s playbook.

Much like influencers, brands today have the power to build parasocial relationships through social media. At the core of both marketing and relationships is one simple truth: The brands that win don’t just sell products; they create obsession.

Here’s how to do it:

Keep coming back (even when you think they’re over you)

Attention is today’s scarcest resource. Consumers are constantly being pulled in different directions, bombarded with content, trends and new distractions. If your brand isn’t consistently showing up in their lives, it’s easy to fade into the background. Brands need to resurface in a way that feels organic but intentional and stays top-of-mind. The goal is to make sure your audience can’t wander too long without seeing you.

A great example? Duolingo. Just when you think you couldn’t ignore your language lessons, that green owl was back on your TikTok FYP or in your comment section—funny, relentless and impossible to ignore.

Create emotional attachment

Why do we get attached to things that drive us crazy? Because they evoke emotion.

Sometimes, it’s hard to even explain why you keep coming back. You try to justify it to your friends, but all you can say is, “I don’t know … I just love it.” That’s the kind of hold brands should aim for. The kind that makes loyalty feel inevitable, even irrational.

Think about brands such as Glossier. It doesn’t just sell beauty; it creates emotional attachment through nostalgia, aesthetic appeal and a feeling of belonging to a certain persona (in this case the Clean Girl Aesthetic). People aren’t just buying a product; they’re buying into an identity, a lifestyle, a community that keeps them hooked.

Stanley Tumblers have done something similar. Are they the only insulated cups on the market? Definitely not. Yet, people will go to multiple stores just to track down a specific color or collaboration. Why? Because they’ve made their product feel like something you cannot live without.

Make people overthink

We can relate to receiving a text and dissecting every emoji, punctuation choice and time delay between responses. Now imagine applying that same energy to a brand. The best brands tap into this psychology by creating experiences that make consumers lean in, search for hidden meaning and feel like they’re part of something bigger. This relates to attribution theory, where people make sense of behaviors by attributing meaning or intent.

When brands leave clues or use ambiguous messages, consumers form assumptions about the brand’s motivations or deeper meanings, just like interpreting a text.

 Take Taylor Swift’s album rollouts. She’s built an entire culture around Easter eggs, hidden messages and subtle hints that send consumers into detective mode. No one knows the real answers, yet it keeps her fans engaged and discussing—keeping her consistently relevant.

It’s about keeping people on edge, waiting for what’s next and trying to decode something that might mean more than what it appears on the surface … or not.

Evolve, but stay recognizable

An ex may switch up the approach, but the essence stays the same. The best brands do the same.

Look at McDonald’s. Whether it’s celebrity meal collabs or the viral Grimace Shake trend, it continually refreshes its marketing strategy by embracing internet culture and nostalgia. Yet at the end of the day, McDonald’s is still McDonald’s.

The key is balancing innovation with consistency. Lean into trends when it makes sense, but don’t chase them to the point of losing what made you successful in the first place.

There’s beauty in knowing that some things never change.

Moral of the story: Keep them hooked

Gen Z is one of the hardest demographics to impress, but the brands that win them over are the ones that know how to make them feel something. Love, nostalgia, FOMO, confusion—whatever the emotion, it has to be powerful enough to turn casual buyers into lifelong fans.

So, take notes from the ex who still crosses your mind. Keep showing up, stay unpredictable, and make yourself impossible to forget.

After all, if an ex can live rent-free in someone’s head—why shouldn’t your brand?