If you miss the first few seconds of this commercial, in which a brand name briefly flashes on the screen, it’s really hard to tell what it’s selling. The ad itself is certainly appealing, though, because it stars the lovely Emma Stone, who appears to be tragically and incomprehensibly all alone—sitting in a sun-drenched apartment, then strolling through a field of flowers, then lounging on an elegant tile floor.
Ten seconds in, we see Emma staring out of the apartment’s giant picture window at a breathtaking mountains-and-lake vista. So maybe this is an Airbnb ad? But seconds later she’s back among the flowers—so many flowers—and it’s kind of overwhelming. Zyrtec, perhaps? Wait, now Emma’s on a yacht. Geico sells boat insurance, right? Then again, the lyrics of the Jamie xx song we’re hearing tells of a “search for someone to be quiet with, who will take me home.” Maybe this is a plug for Uber’s new silent-ride option?
Hold up, hold up. Halfway into the ad, no matter where she is, Emma keeps on doing this subtle swaying thing, this low-key little dance, and she keeps smiling at the camera—making eye contact with us—and it’s just cute AF. Then she’s back in the apartment again, all alone, and she’s rocking out—standing on the couch, arms flailing—and it’s even more adorable.
That must be it! This is an ad for... Emma Stone! We’re completely sold, except for that moment near the end when she suddenly kisses some blandly handsome guy, a moment of infidelity that we’ll overlook because we know it was just a fling and he means nothing to her. Besides, Emma seems way more committed to the field of (CGI?) flowers, which a drone shot reveals to be roughly the size of a football field, and which is located, inexplicably, in a stone courtyard of the Louvre.
Finally, Emma’s best friend, an adorable fire-breathing dragon, shows up and saves Christmas and... wait, sorry, that’s a different commercial—one that’s much more realistic. At the close of this ad, a giant bottle of Coeur Battant floats and spins into view. Coeur Battant means beating heart. So is this... a pharma ad?
Not quite. Coeur Battant is from Louis Vuitton. “My journey, my perfume,” Emma says in voice-over, as if that explains all the fancy nonsense we just witnessed.
For the record, we’re also up for a “My journey, my toothpaste” or even a “My journey, my laxative” commercial—as long as it stars Emma Stone.