An absurdly beautiful lady in a swimming pool, seemingly filled with 24-karat gold water, opens her eyes and looks directly into your soul. She slowly moves through the water and almost flashes her bare breasts, but the camera cuts away. We see other women lounging motionlessly around the pool. Somehow nobody's checking their smartphones. The pretty pool lady steps out of the water and she's making intense eye contact again. What does she want from you? A towel? A cigarette? (Did she and you just make love? You can't remember!) Suddenly the pretty pool lady and some of her pals are in glittery gold gowns, and they're marching toward you in runway-worthy formation, like a migrant caravan of Stepford Wives. Cut to a giant bottle of perfume floating over the pool. The end.
That's the plot, more or less, of Christian Dior's new fragrance campaign. Dior, it should be noted, sees things somewhat differently, judging from the brand's breathless description below the YouTube version of the ad: "Discover the new J'adore Absolu film directed by the visionary Romain Gavras and his modern unique eye, starring our sublime muse Charlize Theron. An extraordinary universe. An ode to women, all women, stronger together as one."
Got that? It was a dramatic expression of female empowerment!
If you were thinking something more along the lines of "fembot spa day," then obviously you are neither visionary nor sublime.