Laurie Lam of e.l.f. Beauty on the path to unapologetic female leadership

Ad Age is marking Women’s History Month with a series of contributions from guest essayists. Today, Laurie Lam, chief brand officer at e.l.f. Beauty, writes about a formative childhood experience that helped her learn “to stand in my own strength, stand up to others and for others.” When I was in fourth grade, I had my first lesson in leadership and being unapologetically ambitious. My class had been assigned a group project—the type where you gather at a groupmate’s house to divvy up the work and roles: leader, secretary, timekeeper and such. I was last to be dropped off at the meetup, and by then the most popular boy in class had already proclaimed that the girls in the group would work, while the boys would alternate between Nintendo and wrestling matches. For whatever reason, I went along with it and then did what came naturally, throwing myself into the tri-fold poster board and periodically hollering over their raucous laughter for input. Cherokee in upper or lower case? Should us girls include a map legend? Eventually we stopped asking altogether and by some miracle completed the project that afternoon. However, instead of gratitude, we were met with anger. Someone called me bossy, and the popular boy threw shaving cream at me. A lot of it. The car ride home was silent, but the self-doubt was deafening. Perhaps I was out of line for taking the leader role when the popular boy had already claimed it. Perhaps we should apologize for the injustice. The sting from the shaving cream wore off, but the sting from the trauma stayed well beyond the excellent grade “we” received. Over time, I came to realize that the muscle I used that day was leadership and courage. Nevertheless, it was a slow realization and the formative experience eventually shaped the way I learned to stand in my own strength, stand up to others and for others. While I would not trade this experience, as painful as it was to my younger self, I wish I could have understood my power, should have had a retort to being called bossy, and would have known that girls can ascend to take the highest seats of decision-making power—be it in group projects, in boardrooms and in government. Could have, should have, would have. As a mother of two young girls and as the chief brand officer at e.l.f. Beauty, a company that embraces gender equality and diversity in its people and leadership, my lesson has a newfound relevance today that will hopefully inspire positive change. Perhaps together we can remove stigma around labels like ambitious and bossy (no shame in knowing what we want and going after it), normalize for boys and men that girls and women can too be leaders, and inspire and cultivate the next generation of female leaders by leading the way unapologetically one poster board, one meetup, one boardroom seat at a time. Sign up for Ad Age newsletters From influencer marketing to agencies, get the latest news and analysis delivered to your inbox Click here

Laurie Lam of e.l.f. Beauty on the path to unapologetic female leadership

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