Penises Complain About Wearing Rubbers in Film Promoting MyOne Perfect Fit Condoms

"Get it up, size it up, and order up." Dave Wedel, CEO of One Condoms, gives those instructions in a comedic promotional video released today by his company, which produces a range of custom-fit condoms.

One Condoms has begun selling its custom MyOne Perfect Fit Condom, which come in 60 different sizes, following changes in regulations from the FDA and industry standards groups, according to the New York Times.

The new film created out of agency Jack Morton takes a page out of Dollar Shave Club's marketing book and features Wedel addressing men about their rubber-wearing headaches, and suggesting that MyOne, whose range includes ten lengths and nine different widths, could help solve them.

According to Wedel in the video, standard condoms only fit about 12% of men and 53% of men say they've lost erections due to the fit and feel of their prophylactics.

A variety of penises also engage in "crotch talk" to further illustrate those headaches.

"Condoms suffocate you again?" asks one in a kilt. "I had enough slipping and sliding last night," whines another in swimming trunks. "Better than it choking the life out of you," says another member in a Speedo.

Infographics in the video also compare the "Perfect Fit" assortment to various vegetables, ranging from a snowpea to an ear of corn and what looks like an extremely large carrot. Customers can use the brand's downloadable "fit kit" (kind of like a ring measuring guide, but for penises) to measure their length and girth while erect. The company will provide them with a personal size code (to keep things discreet) and send orders in low-key packaging as well.